Chapter 10 "Response to Porn"

In my opinion porn is not a bad thing and people make it out to be something so horrible when really it's not that bad. You can go outside or to the zoo and see two animals mating and your first response is "OMG! They should be arrested."
If you don't like porn then don't watch it. In the passage it talked about how porn objectifies women and makes them look bad. It's their job though and it's something they are willing to do. I mean I could sit there and say garbage men stink because they deal with garbage all day or that all strippers are sluts, when clearly neither of those are true. And women are also not the only people in the video, men are in it too and they are not viewed as any differently. I don't know I just think it's stupid how much people judge others.

Response to "Resisting Violence Against Women"

Chapter 10 talked about gender violence, cyber stalking, rape and battery/physical abuse and much more. I found this chapter sort of disturbing. It's very straight forward and right to the point.

When it talked about gender violence it made me realize that it's getting worse and worse as time goes on because kids today are more rebellious and they really don't care. A lot of children are more spoiled now a days and they don't take pride in what they do therefore they really don't care.

Cyber stalking is pretty much the new and improved way to stalk a person. The internet is a dangerous place and many people do not realize this and they tend to post information such as their full name and address and phone number, which just initiates stalking. It's now a lot easier to do in our time period. And many people fake who they really are.

Cyber stalking goes in coordination with rape. This is because it is how predators and rapists get to their victims. Both are very serious topics and can get a person into a lot of trouble.

Both of these could also lead into battery and physical abuse. There is a list of reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and to me #4 stands out the most and it's that: "they worry about what other people think" and I think this is sort of stupid because they must be insecure about themselves, they shouldn't care what other people think. I guess I can't fully speak for this though because I have never been in an abusive relationship before and I guess I wouldn't really want anyone to know if I was either.

Response to "The Politics of Housework"

Pat Mainardi's The Polictics of Housework really made me realize how lazy men are. Not only that but there are set chores that men and women each have. After reading this article it really made me realize this a lot too with my parents. For example, it's rare to see a women cutting the grass or for men to be doing the dishes. In my opinion, women get all the dirty work, men are lazy. Like Mainardi stated typical chores are "doing laundry, doing dishes, and just cleaning in general." When she broke down each of the men's quotes it made me realize that her meaning is exactly, or at least close to what I would have thought he meant as well. Like when Mainardi quotes "I don't mind sharing the housework, but I don't do it very well. We should each do the things we are best at." I would have interpreted this as, let's do what we each do best, because I would rather not clean or do laundry, which links to her meaning as well.

The postscript was very deep and broken down well I thought. I would actually love to see a men's point of view on housework and how they would interpret what women say to them about it. I guess reading it from her point of view, sort of makes me agree with her more because I have seen such chores being split up like that myself and that she is a women and what she says is basically something all women could agree with.

I did actually find an article about men doing housework http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090805142905.htm. This article basically states that men that do and share the housework with women are more likely to get and keep a girl. I just found it interesting and thought it fit well with the Mainardi article.

Response to "Partners as parents"

When Charlene Gomes talks about custody it's really a hard topic. The government looks at custody as the "best interests" for the child. This is the part that really offends me the most, I know at a certain age you can chose if you want to live with one parent or the other, but if the child is old enough to make the decision on their own they should be able to chose. The "best interests" should go for infants only. And from reading Charlene Gomes passage on custody I realize now that it is even harder when you have the same sex parents. I know they have the Nexus approach, which still mainly looks for the best interests of the child. In my opinion, the best interest of the child would be to have them choose who they want to live. This is because for example they may have a harder time growing up with a parent they can not get along with. This also ties in with child support.

I know this wasn't discussed in the chapter but I strongly agree with child support with goes towards the whole custody thing. If both parents have the child they should both be responsible to support it whether they are together or not. Both parents should have to pay and raise their child financially.

In conclusion, I think children should get to pick who they want to live with, and that child support should be paid in order to have both parents fully responsible for their child.

Response to "Marriage and Love"

In Emma Goldman's passage "Marriage and Love" on page 396 it talks about 'how about marriage and love and have nothing to do with each other'. I agree with this statement because you can be in love with someone and not be married and you can also be married and not be in love with them. For example, you can see this in things such as forced marriages where they are married because the family has arranged it and they are not necessarily in love with their significant other. I am not saying that they will not ever love this person they may not at first but like Emma Goldman states 'it is rare one does hear if miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage'. I also agree that marriage has a lot to do with the 'economic  arrangement, an insurance pact'. For example, how men or women marry another for things that they may not have such as money or they could be getting married because their significant other is perhaps in the military, where there a member makes more almost or nearly double when he/she is married and their significant other also makes money as well.

A lot of the time I feel that the word love is often mis-used and people just say it because they think it's something the other person wants to hear. I, myself and I am sure some of you can also agree that most of use have been in or is in one of these relationships now. The type where in the end the guy tells you he loves you and that he is going to marry you in the future, then a month later so or he breaks up with you for someone else. I guess in a girl's point of view marriage is something we dream about and when a guy tells me that it just gets your hopes up so high and then they are shattered, making you think is love, or marriage even worth it...

"In Search of the Elusive Orgasm"

Lori L.Tharps' "In Search of the Elusive Orgasm" really grossed me out. I mean I know it is a real story I just don't think i would feel comfortable sharing information like that to, not only my friends and family like she did, but also publicly which we see in her writing in the Young Wives' tales. I understand where she is coming from when she blames herself and her husband, but I mean it's really no one's fault and you honestly shouldn't risk your marriage because of something like that. I just feel like if it happens, it happens. And sometimes couples expect so much out of the other that they forget about the important things such as love and friendship, etc.

"What Girls Want"

When I read Caitlin Flanagan's "What Girls Want" I never really realized the sexual tensions that are portrayed in the Twilight movies. Twilight grew a lot over the years and has a wide range of audience who now read and watch the movies. I know restrictions really can't be made on books but I feel like somehow we need a way to have younger audience such as children under 13 to not read it. I feel like now that I read "What Girls Want" it made me more aware of all the sexual tension and pressure Bella has towards Edward and in New Moon, even Jacob. And in my opinion the younger audience shouldn't be reading or seeing some of this, such as the sex scenes and some parts of the movie are also very violent. I know the movies are doing a good job at keeping this more of a PG with not being as gruesome as the book or as sexual. However, in the movie there are a lot of the long stares and in the last three movies kissing romantically and at sometimes it seems almost violent.
Even the way the vampires are portrayed is pretty much what every girl wants. From their looks to their personality it what every girls dreams of finding. And when Bella is stuck between Edward's love vs. Jacob's love it despite the fact that they are both or can both be monsters she still chooses one of them. This is awkward to most people because Bella could easily find a different, normal guy at her high school.
I guess Caitlin Flanagan's article really made me realize and look more closely at the things we are reading and watching, and to I guess, keep an eye out of things that you wouldn't imagine.

If Men Could Menstruate

Gloria Steinem's passage "If Men Could Menstruate" was very comical. I read this and could not take anything she said seriously. It's kinda funny that this passage is from 1978 because if someone else was asked to write a passage like hers people would probably say similar things. I laughed when she said "Men would brag about how long and how much", this is true considering they do this already. It's just really funny to think about. I honestly do not think that men could handle menstruating, I feel like all they would do is complain and whine the whole time, to us women. And when they are around their friends they would talk about their 'problems' (just like we do). Another thing I laughed at was the whole "Street guys would brag or answer a praise from a buddy by giving high fives and saying 'Yeah, man I'm on the rag!'"
I just found this passage very entertaining. And it kinda nice to see men get made fun of and cut down in our book for once.

Alcohol Abuse

I grew up not knowing my father due to alcohol and drug abuse. Therefore I guess I just found this article to be un-fair and I don't think this article should just be centered on women, men also use and abuse alcohol.
I know the survey shows that alcohol consumption is most common among women between the ages of 26 and 34 however, I don't agree with this. I feel like over time the age is beginning to grow younger and younger. The drinking age is 21 in Wisconsin. However many teenagers now have access to alcohol and drugs. I know both alcohol and drugs were a problem in my high school and a problem here in Oshkosh. I feel like that age 26, is decreasing because of this. I do agree that binge drinking is a huge problem within the age groups of 18 to 25. I also agree that women will drink more when they are either separated or divorced, due to 'depression' and possible 'stress'.
After reading through the 'key findings', I will admit that shock and fear ran through my body. I think when women drink they tend to forget about the consequences. Things like liver damage, heart disease and different cancers are something women tend to over-look when they drink because they are more worried about having a good time and focused on 'loosening up'.
Due to their behavior when drinking it leads to a lot of violence, not only to themselves but others as well. Women have a higher risk, even when compared to men, to die in a car crash. When women drink heavily they put themselves at the risk of being sexually abused. This is true especially among college girls. 
This last part scares me the most, considering we are all here in college and drinking does occur. I guess I am just asking and reminding you guys of these issues so hopefully you continue or start to make better decisions when it comes to drugs and alcohol here at school and in the future.

Response to "Hold that Nose"

Okay I, myself have  big nose and I got made fun of it all my life. And I kind of just found this passage a little offense. You should never change for anyone, and I can't believe her mother tried talking her into getting plastic surgery. And to have her dad admit that her or her sister wouldn't exist if her mom hadn't gotten a nose job then he wouldn't think twice of marrying her. Looks shouldn't be everything in a relationship either. I will admit that being made fun of all my life I have wanted to get a nose job, but you know what as I grew up over the years I realized it's what makes me who I am, and if someone doesn't like me because of it then they are obviously not worth my time. I feel like me being bullied all my life because of my nose and this girl never getting made fun of but having it because it's what her parents want is no reason to change. No I'm not Jewish either, but I guess i can just relate to this girl in a way. 

Response to "Breast Buds and the Training Bra"

I agree with Brumberg that breasts are still portrayed as something important to girls and guys in our culture and over time this has grown to be more powerful and meaningful that it once use to be. Throughout history female body parts, especially breasts have been shown in art, photography, films and literature. Breasts are a way to show off a female's sexuality. This brings me to my point of bras. Reading this chapter made me realize, at one point in time they didn't have bras, yeah I know weird to think about... but bras have changed a lot. Now girls can express themselves further than they could before. They now come in all different sizes and colors. And girls that feel that they don't have big enough breasts can get the "push-up" bra. Even young teens can access their own bra.

However, sometimes I feel like bras also have a negative affect on females. Since they come in many different forms girls can be portrayed as "sluttly". For example: having that bra that makes your breasts bigger then they actually are, or having it hang out of your shirt or even wearing a white see through shirt with a colored bra. Yeah, it may get the guys attention, but is that what it should really be about, just looks?

Many times women and girls will buy lingerie to impress a guy if they know they are going to be seen wearing it, which again shouldn't be the case. I mean guys don't go out and spend all kinds of money on sexy underwear for girls. I just feel like it has kind of become a problem in our society among girls, but that's just me...

"How to Be a Princess"

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Princess
This website, despite the fact that it is a wiki website still made me laugh, because somewhere someone made this and actually thinks this bizarre stuff.
After reading this I thought, hey half the girls in the world must be princesses. I don't know if it is suppose to make a person feel good about themselves or what. But hey at least it's not saying dress in a fancy ball gown and have a crown and wait for your prince charming. I feel like the "princess days" are starting to become more real rather than what you see in Disney movies and what not.
But then again I'm not saying go read this article and if this applies to you then you are automatically a princess. I think the word "princess" is over-rated, but that's just me I suppose.

Response to: "is that my son wearing a dress"

When and if I have kids, I would never freak out on them for wanting to pretty much just explore and have fun. I think the parents over-reacted way too much. Like we talked about in class discussion today it's not like their son knows or is going to be gay in the future just because he wears dresses now. I just feel like parents are too over protective and freak out way too much. You don't start learning and realizing sexuality between boys and girls until you hit your teen years.


Another example of parents freaking out too much, was the whole mom having a heart attack about her daughter being called princess. I understand some people are really against it. But that's like someone calling your child cutie when you both know they aren't. I don't think it is that big of a deal unless your child literally thought she was a princess and actually dressed as one and expected to be treated like one. But a lot of people don't know either, like they do it to children everyday as more of a comforting thing, so I guess both parties should take their pre-cautions. But I just feel in both situations the parents freaking out was not necessary.

Response to "If Women Ran Hip Hop"

I think women should start "running" hip hop. It would be a whole new look for the world and the way hip hop is portrayed. I also agree with Aya de Leon that if women ran hip hop then the violence rate would decrease, not because their raps are more girly but they won't be rapping about getting shot or drugs, etc. Many people probably think that hip hop would be terrible if ran by a women.
In my opinion female artist/rapper Nicki Minaj runs hip hop better than anyone else right now despite all the other competing artists she stands out the most because she is a women. Surprisingly it's not just females that like her music the men do too, which isn't very common in our society or if they do like it then they don't show it.
This link just displays some of the things people say about her and her most famous quotes from her music and also how girls look up to her etc. http://hubpages.com/hub/Top-10-Nicki-Minaj-Quotes
I do feel like a lot of girls look up to her, as men do to rappers.
I feel like it would be a whole new movement for music and I feel like it would just be a good thing.

Women Confronting and Creating Culture

 OKAY I JUST WANT TO PUT THIS OUT THERE: I DO NOT AND HAVE NOT EVER WATCHED PORN I JUST FOUND THIS SO AMUSING! (so don't judge me)

On page 505 in the "The Movies" section where it talks about pornography I seriously started laughing.
Porn in no way, shape, or form shows any representations of a women being "violated" and "dominated". These women CHOOSE to be in porn, no one is making them do it. I don't understand how other races are portrayed as fetishes and/or exotic, and if they are then the porn was made to be that way. In my opinion women that are in porn and do stripping because they are comfortable with their bodies and the use it as a way to make money and do things that they are good at. I like how they pretty much single out women too, and say things like "pornography extends the sexualization and objectification of women's bodies for entertainment". From my knowledge I never knew sex was all about women, men are also a part of the job here. NOTICE: how men are not even brought up in this.

And the whole “advertisers have targeted young girls with stripper and porn-inspired merchandise that creates a very narrow definition of what constitutes sexiness for women,” this is just a load of shit. I have never had or seen anything alone the lines of advertising porn and stripping, besides in movies and every time I seen it, it was a guy looking at it. Maybe this just shows that guys are just perverts. And in stores porn and shows like “Girls Gone Wild” you need to be over 18 to buy or rent.

I don’t know maybe it’s just me but I found this totally funny and ridiculous because it’s the girls choice and it’s obviously not violent or it wouldn’t be done or shown.

since everyone else blogged about "A Day Without Feminism" I might as well too.

On page 30 there was a statement that really bothered me.
"If a women is downsized from her role as a housewife (aka left by her husband), there is no word for being displaced homemarker. As a divorcee, she may be regarded as a family disgrace or as easy sexual prey. After, all, she had sex with one guy so why not all guys?" The part in bold bothered me the most. First off, if a divorce would happen between two people it is un-fair to put blame on the women, as divorce happens between two people, it takes to people two have a relationship and same goes for a divorce so therefore I think it is un-fair to put all the blame on the woman.
Secondly, women are often viewed as sexual prey. Woman often hear the words: 'slut', 'whore', and 'hoe', on a daily basis when in reality women aren't always the one wanting sex. Men are known to be at their sexual peaks from ages 18-24. Just because a woman looks good does not make her a whore or anything else.

Honestly this chapter pissed me off. It just totally in my opinion cut down all women. For example: how women can only be teachers and what not, oh please plenty of men are now teachers.
Also how if a boss demands sex from a woman employee then she automatically has to quit her job, that guy should be fired for demanding to have sex with her.
 That is wrong on SO many levels.

The Symbolic Dimension of Oppression

I really do not know how to write a blog, so this is my feeble attempt at it. So in advance sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings with my feedback and what not.

Anyways, as we observed in class and in everyday life; symbolic dimension of oppression is also known as stereotyping of genders, races, etc. I agree 100% with Patricia Hill Collins view on this. When you hear the words "masculine" and "feminine" almost any group will list similar things that Collins did. It is also true that this usually refers to the upper and middle class of white men and women. I have noticed that in other races it differs though. For example, Black men and women are more sensitive when it comes to their race and when other races like whites comment about it with words such as "nigger" I'm sure you can see what I am getting at. However, stereotyping can be offensive to many people. While some portray men as "strong", many women argue that they too are strong maybe not just physically but also emotionally. Many people don't realize that when they stereotype though it usually reflects on themselves which relates to a link that I found.

 I found an interesting link on what happens or what could happen when you stereotype yourself. The feedback too was also interesting to read.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-stereotyping-yourself-contributes-to-success